Where, oh where

It's been almost two weeks since I've left the Free State and I'm still slowly coming off of what I experienced there. I've left a changed person, but also encountered myself in new ways and learned a lot about myself while in that new context.

2008 is wrapping up here. The "New Year" of 2009 seems to have more bearing here as it means a new work year, a new school year, a new fiscal year. Summer is in full swing and people begin taking their holidays now - businesses and schools are all shutting down and people are in reflection mode. Which has put me in that space a bit, mentally.

This past year has been tough and certainly dynamic. For me this past year includes everything since I left Chicago, as that was a big marker, a huge chapter closing. Having just had a birthday too, I realize this is the year where I "grew up" in leaps and bounds. I've had to become more independent, more flexible, more money conscious, emotionally more tough; I've learned to overcome distractions & to be more self-motivated. I've worked towards difficult goals and pushed my way through that incredibly tricky process. I feel as if I've met myself again and again in lots of different ways and had to learn how to get over myself.

This year of growth has contributed largely to the success of my time in the Free State. It was awfully lonely at times and with nothing holding me to "who I am," I had to rediscover what it is that builds me up, find where my self-contained barriers are, understand what boundaries I need, and to find the holes in the atmosphere necessary for steady, even breathing. I won't say it's an A+ job - as we all know, growth is ongoing and is not always quantifiable. I say it was a success of a time, but it was also a struggle.

I've been staying in Johannesburg these last 2 weeks (see the pictures of the industrial part of town in which I'm staying), apart from having work, a schedule, a network and have spent a lot of time writing and reflecting on this recent frame of time. I've also had a lot of time to ponder the next set of adventures lying in store for me in Cape Town. I have a significant holiday gap before starting my teaching job in Cape Town due to the lack of organization through the group I'll start working with once there. I was supposed to be helping & training with them in their Jo'burg headquarters the month of December, but that's fallen through. On the up side, my Dad was able to arrange special travel plans on his way back to the US from China to stop through SA. So early tomorrow morning he'll be arriving.

Our plans are to travel to the St. Lucia Wetlands and game reserves north of Durban, just to the south of Mozambique. We'll also spend a few days in Durban following that time, so it will be a lovely week moving about the northeastern part of the coast. Do expect some good wildlife photos in my upcoming postings! Following his trip it's Christmastime and I have plans to see my Gran, uncle & cousins back in the Karoo, just before making my way to Cape Town.

So Cape Town. Sigh! Everyone and anyone has told me I will never leave once moving to the Cape. I'm looking forward to it for multiple reasons but also have a whole new set of challenges awaiting me there. The school I'm slotted to teach English in is a couple miles walk from where I'll be living which will be nice and feasible. It's a mission school and the population is bussed in from the surrounding townships. I'm not sure of any further circumstances and am feeling VERY loosely supported by the organization that has set this job up for me.

Based on my original plans to move to SA -- dating back to my Fulbright proposal -- I have stayed in touch with a couple of the artists and organizations that supported my initial proposal to do art workshops with survivors of sexual assault. I have every intention to make use of these contacts, especially as I am becoming wary of the organization I'll be working with. A couple of new friends I've made here in Jo'burg have been pushing me to reconsider teaching English as it is such a departure from what I'm really wanting to do. Point taken. I still plan to go forward with the teaching but am trying to work through my own ideas of what it is I'm trying to accomplish - and to set forth with that at the forefront. There are lots and lots of organizations here that don't have an online presence, which I'll be able to find in person, that might be more closely tied to arts programming and sexual assault. Also, there is a lot of untapped funding here, so I'm gaining confidence that if I can solidify a new proposal for what/how it is I'm wanting to do through these workshops, I can procure the funding needed for materials, space, advertising, etc. It feels good to be moving back on track with proposals and writing - and at the same time to have a short-term plan in place for getting to know the issues of urban & modern Cape Town. For now, these are my current thoughts in a Shannon-nutshell. Not a lot "going on," but the cogs are a-turnin' !