The Revel and the Glory

Reveling in the shifting tides of a new year and the glory that comes with the end of school, I have been feeling a lot this month. November in America represents the turn of autumn into winter, straggling red and yellow leaves left to dangle in solitary on trees branches, Thanksgiving feasts and family gathering. And of course, for me, it represents another year in my life!

In South Africa it is entirely different. Nary a thought of Thanksgiving in mind, educators and students prepare for the end of a long year of study. Lunches and proms and award ceremonies have been dotting the weeks, summer steaming up as the first fires of the season bloom. The days are hot and everyone is anticipating a Christmas season that relates more to the holiday mentality we place on July 4th in the USA.

So with this, last weekend I was spoiled to trip away by Johannes. We rode by motorbike (my first ride ever!) to an area close to the southern tip of Africa, Cape Agulus (furthest south I've been yet). It was a magnificent weekend spent on a small farm holding set in the countryside. As you can see, I busied myself pretending to be artist Andy Goldsworthy, producing a floral object that relates more to a wreath than a takeover of color...I had intended to make something huge, but you see, the flowers kept wilting in the heat and the circle shrank and shrank and shrank!






























My birthday was celebrated in many ways, including many phonecalls and cards and sneaky gifts from home. Additionally, my friends here joined for a braai hosted at my friend Christa's place in Camps Bay where we loaded a 12" grill with pounds of "wors" sausage and watched the sun set over the sea. Finally, Monday morning at school, my crew of Student Librarians threw a surprise breakfast for me. I entered the library only to see children climbing out of the bookshelves, hopping about a room taken over with streamers, balloons, candle light and, of course, chocolate cake! The teachers completed the occassion by singing happy birthday to me in English, Afrikaans, and Xhosa. So it was truly a weekend of spirit, of realizing that my efforts put into this place of Cape Town have turned it into something of a home, filled with people who love me!































And whilst I'm feeling so special, I've been able to participate in some even bigger things this week. St. Paul's hosted 2 awards ceremonies to celebrate the academic achievements and improvements made by students this year. I was included in the celebration and awarded 24 students - 12 librarians for their outstanding efforts and 12 literacy students for their improvement in our time together. To boot, I witnessed several of "my" librarians receive the honor of becoming Prefects for next year. We don't really have anything like prefects in the U.S., but they are students in the top level of the school chosen to help lead the rest of the school. A "Head" Girl and Boy are chosen and both were members of my library group. Leonora Rutsa was selected for Head Girl - she has been my right hand in the development of the library, requesting from me that I come to school to work on Saturdays! It was a real "mamma" moment for me to witness her up on stage, totally unaware of her award, burst into tears at the honor of her selection. I had 2 big fat tears of joy rolling down my cheeks. I don't think I've ever felt anything as selfless and giving about this kind of love and joy that I feel for my students. It is an eye-opener into the ways a child can unbuckle the heart.

I am feeling very emotional as the last 2 weeks of school quickly approach! There is so much to do, and so little time. The students are constantly barraging me with questions of how and why and won't I be able to stay next year??? It becomes more and more difficult to understand how I can leave this community, this holding where my heart has truly found a place. But at the end of the day, it will happen. It is my commitment and my personal financial capacity that has enabled me to sustain 12 months at this school and I am relaxing into remembering that. All I know is that there will be a lot of tear shed in the coming weeks and I am prepared!

Ceilings, Beams and Trees

Curled up on my bed, looking at the old wooden ceiling, I am simultaneously in the grips of kidney pain and in the grasp of love. On the eve of my 27th birthday (well, almost), there must be comets rocketing in Sagittarius and Scorpio for I can feel the ground shaking.

I am alone in my kidney pain, suffering some sort of infection, probably brought on by the stresses of finishing my final month at St. Paul’s. I cannot believe this year has almost come to a close. It’s incredibly emotional and I find myself on the verge of tears to part with the many relationships I have built. There’s the group of amazing 12-year-old girls, Student Librarians, who have been my right hand throughout the development of the library. There are the students I’ve witnessed improve, stretch in confidence and attitude and learn the tongue of English and its words on paper. There are the students I’ve taught who still struggle, who I leave knowing their developing struggles are left for other hands. And there are the colleagues who have cared for me, who have supported my struggle, and who have taught me how to laugh and be even naughtier in my humor.

Part of my ever-developing roller coaster, red dirt path, yellow brick road, walk through life, is Johannes. I feel so bold relaying this all here! But he is an important part of my story. There will be more to write, but for now our relationship is developing as though we’ve known each other for years. Truth be known, I’ve known him face-to-face for less than 30 days as he’s been working in Mozambique since we met last May. He returned to Cape Town two weekends ago and I was heartbroken to find he’d be leaving in January to start another job in Kwa-Zulu Natal. He didn’t hesitate for a second to invite me to join him there.

And so, yes, I have agreed. As my time with St. Paul’s represents momentous change, this move will slide in perfectly to the next slot. Johannes is a furniture maker, woodworker, carpenter, and builder… however you name it, he works with wood. He’s been offered a job to build a tented camp on a game farm in KZN near the town Pongola, just south of the border to Swaziland. I remember from my trip to that area with my dad last December how it tasted - green, woody, lush, delicate, hot. At the moment, it’s not 100% solid as we’re awaiting confirmation from his bosses that it will be okay for me to join.

It’s a major risk. Yes, there will be the nice parts, like buffalo grazing on the grass outside the cabin! And having a garden (though I may have to contend with kudu for permission). And being immersed in nature. But a lot of it is about putting my faith forward on a new platform. This past 16 months has been about me, on my own, forging my way through social complexities, building relationships from scratch, developing my working self in the context of chaos. This next segment will be about me risking myself on a more emotional level, putting my trust into something else, not knowing what my plans will be, letting it just fall into place. For those of you who know me, not planning is not a general part of my existence.

As you can see, I’m quite excited, dreaming while gazing at my ceiling. All the exercises of this year have built me up to take this next step. So, we shall see. Regardless, my life will soon be shifting in new directions once again. C’est la vie!